


Mr. Whatsyourface

by PurgatoryPalace



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Chatlog, Cute, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, M/M, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Pale-Red Vacillation, Red Romance, at first, later on probably, lonely boys, pesterchum
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-15
Updated: 2016-06-16
Packaged: 2018-07-15 06:25:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7211588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PurgatoryPalace/pseuds/PurgatoryPalace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>CG: SHUT UP NOOKLICKER DON'T BLOW THIS WAY OUT OF PROPORTION LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO. IT'S SIMPLY ME WANTING TO TALK TO YOU BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE IS EITHER A) SUCKING FACE OR B) TOO BUSY TO REMEMBER THAT WE EXIST<br/>CG: OH *SO* SORRY FOR WANTING TO HAVE A DECENT CONVERSATION, MY HUMBLEST APOLOGIES. I FORGOT TO WHOM I WAS SPEAKING TO.<br/>TG: wow<br/>CG: YEAH FUCKING "WOW". GOD I SOUND LIKE SUCH A NEEDIE LITTLE WIGGLER, I'LL JUST GO WALLOW IN MY OWN SHIT.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> If there's any spelling errors etc. please let me know! For now it's just their chatlog but maybe later on I might add more! Please comment, leave kudos, etc.!

**_\--carcinoGeneticist [ CG ] began pestering turntechGodhead [ TG ] at 03:48—_ **

**CG:** DAVE, I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.

 **TG:** well well well, what do we have here mr Vantas is wanting to talk to little old me

 **TG:** my god it must be a miracle

 **CG:** SHUT UP NOOKLICKER DON’T BLOW THIS WAY OUT OF PROPORTION LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO. IT’S SIMPLY ME WANTING TO TALK TO YOU BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE IS EITHER A) SUCKING FACE OR B) TOO BUSY TO REMEMBER THAT WE EXIST

 **CG:** OH *SO* SORRY FOR WANTING TO HAVE A DECENT CONVERSATION, MY HUMBLEST APOLOGIES. I FORGOT TO WHOM I WAS SPEAKING TO.

 **TG:** wow

 **CG:** YEAH FUCKING “WOW”. GOD I SOUND LIKE SUCH A NEEDIE LITTLE WIGGLER, I’LL JUST GO WALLOW IN MY OWN SHIT.

 **TG:** yo karkat im not sure that this is something you should be talkin to me about

 **TG:** what about your moir-ale pal?

 **CG:** YOU MEAN MOIRAIL ASSFUCK

 **TG:** ya that thing

 **CG:** I DON’T FUCKING HAVE ONE. IN CASE YOU HAVEN’T NOTICED STRIDER, TEREZI HAS THAT THING WITH VRISKA, KANAYA AND YOUR CRIB –MATE ARE IN THE RED QUADRANT OR SOMETHING WITH EACH OTHER SO KANAYA HAS NO TIME FOR A PALE ROMANCE AT THE MOMENT. GAMZEE… HE’S IN THE FUCKING VENTS SOMEWHERE IN THIS GOD FORSAKEN PLACE AND YOU….

 **CG:** YOU PROBABLY HAVE SOME WEIRD PLATONIC HUMAN THING WITH THE MAYOR

 **TG:** damn right I do

 **CG:** SO WHO ACTUALLY TALKS TO ME? NO ONE BUT MY PAST OR FUTURE SELVES WHO ARE ALL, BY THE WAY, EVEN MORE OF AN ASSHOLE THAN *MYSELF*.

 **CG:** WAIT, I’M ONLY GOING TO EVER ASK YOU THIS ONCE IN YOUR FUCKING MISERABLE LIFE, BECAUSE I DON’T WANT YOU TO THINK THAT I CARE BUT, ARE YOU OKAY? WHY NO CRAZY STORIES OR METAPHORS OF BS SPILLING OUT OF YOUR PROTEIN CHUTE THAT INCLUDE LIKE

 **CG:** WAIT I WAS GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THIS.

 **TG:** idk bro but let me try to decode your vantas tirade

 **TG:** basically youre worried because i aint tellin you some crazy ass story

 **TG:** that i admit to pulling them out of my ass half the time

 **TG:** so anyways in conclusion which wow that sounded like i was writing a paper for an english teacher or some shit

 **TG:** like hey mr whatsyourname

 **TG:** heres my paper on complete and utter bullshit

 **TG:** what do you mean it doesnt make sense

 **TG:** sir i dont believe you understand me nobody understands me

 **TG:** im an emotionally compromised teenage girl

 **CG:** … YOU DONE?

 **TG:** ya

 **CG:** GOOD TO SEE YOU’RE BACK, THOUGH, I DON’T KNOW HOW TO TALK TO YOU OTHER THAN SPEWING CURSES AND ANALOGIES AT YOUR STUPID COMMENTARY.

 **TG:** thats kinda the plan

 **TG:** but wow, now thats just rude karkat

 **TG:** you hurt my feelings and my heart do you not see what youve done

 **TG:** you literally fucked me up, blew this way out of proportion bro

 **TG:** im crying like theres actual tears pouring down my face

 **CG:** WOW. JUST. I CANNOT *BELIEVE* I WANTED TO HANG OUT WITH YOU BECAUSE OF HOW UNBELIEVABLY BORED I AM.

 **TG:** you wanted to hang out with me?

 **TG:** i mean i dont blame ya man i am a strider after all

 **TG:** just

 **TG:** be gentle with me mr vantas this is my first time after all

 **TG:** ive never been with a man before *blushes*

 **CG:** FUCK OFF NOW I DON’T WANT TO EVEN LOOK AT YOUR DISGUSTING PALE FACE.

 **TG:** no, see this is the part where youre supposed to say, “so sugoi” and become all flustered at how adorable i am

 **TG:** please sir, forgive me for i am about to sin

 **TG:** dont leave me babe

 **TG:** it gets cold at night without your warmth

 **CG:** /:B

 **TG:** love me karks

 **TG:** love me or i will emotionally perish in my own “word vomit”

**_\--carcinoGeneticist [ CG ] blocked turntechGodhead [ TG ] at 04:13—_ **

**TG:** B(


	2. Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \--carcinoGeneticist [CG] did not receive message from turntechGodhead [TG] at 18:12—  
> TG: dude cmon i miss your shouty angry grey text  
> TG: at least let me know youre okay  
> TG: everyone yelled at me when you left the kitchen  
> TG: you wont even answer ms edward cullen and arent you two like  
> TG: meowrails or some shit  
> TG: dude please youre actually making me worry here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comments, kudos, constructive criticism... I feed off these things you see 0_0

_**\--turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 18:08—** _

**TG:** Karks yo dude

 **TG:** karkles yo man, you unblock me yet

**_\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] did not receive message from turntechGodhead [TG] at 18:09—_ **

**TG:** cmon you ass i didnt mean it like that, its been a week

 **TG:** youre not annoying af, of course i want you here

 **TG:** wait no ya i mean

 **TG:** fuck

**_\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] did not receive message from turntechGodhead [TG] at 18:12—_ **

**TG:** dude cmon i miss your shouty angry grey text

 **TG:** at least let me know youre okay

 **TG:** everyone yelled at me when you left the kitchen

 **TG:** you wont even answer ms edward cullen and arent you two like

 **TG:** meowrails or some shit

 **TG:** dude please youre actually making me worry here

**_\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] has unblocked turntechGodhead [TG] at 18:22—_ **

**TG:** oh thank god

 **TG:** jesus fucking shit tit you cant do that to me

 **TG:** us

 **TG:** you cant do that to us

 **CG:** SHUT THE FUCK UP STRIDER I’M STILL MAD AT YOU, I JUST THOUGHT YOU WOULD WANT TO KNOW THAT YES, I AM IN FACT *ALIVE* AND *WELL*. SO NOW YOU CAN STOP FEELING GUILTY AND GO BACK TO NOT CARING, FUCK YOU VERY MUCH AND HAVE A SHITTY TIME ON THE METEOR.

 **CG:** TROLL OUT.

 **TG:** no wait!

 **CG:** …

 **TG:** you know i aint good with this shit but

 **TG:** listen, im sorry i was such an asshole to you

 **TG:** i didnt mean what i said, really

 **TG:** tbh man id be lost without you here

 **TG:** wow that was cheesy af

 **CG:** DAVE.

 **TG:** what

 **CG:** DAVE.

 **TG:** *what*

 **CG:** … THAT WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING YOU’VE EVER SAID TO ME.

 **TG:** okay fuck you for one thing, i just spilled my emotions out on the metaphorical table for you

 **TG:** threw all my cards in the pile for you

 **TG:** *face-up* mind you

 **TG:** and now youre going to act like a total douche

 **TG:** screw you

 **CG:** NO, DAVE THAT WAS ACTUALLY REALLY NICE OF YOU TO SAY. I’M SORRY FOR BEING AN ASSHOLE BACK TO YOU TOO.

 **TG:** at which time

 **CG:** FUCK YOU (:B

 **TG:** i made you *smile*

 **TG:** oh shit oh shit

 **TG:** i wish i was there in person

 **TG:** no one and i mean no one has ever seen the great karkat-erorious smile

 **TG:** god its probably one thatll make me melt, all sharp pointy teeth and cute dimple on your left cheek

 **CG:** WHAT. WAIT, HOW DID YOU…? YOU KNOW WHAT NEVER MIND THIS IS GETTING ALL TOO PALE FOR MY LIKING.

 **TG:** karkat

 **TG:** karks

 **TG:** karkatuious

 **TG:** brokat

 **TG:** are you saying what i think youre saying

 **TG:** do you have a huge big pale gay crush on me?

 **CG:** IGNORING THE FACT THAT YOU SAID *HUGE* AND *BIG* NEXT TO EACH OTHER WHICH IS CONTRADICTING YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU REPEATED IT,

 **CG:** …MAYBE.

 **TG:** omg

 **TG:** oh my god karkat why didnt you tell me

 **TG:** jfc if i would have known you had a pale hard-on for me i wouldve like

 **TG:** i dont even know

 **TG:** which one is that again

 **TG:** the friend one right

CG: OH MY GOD YOU’RE SO PATHETIC AND IGNORANT I JUST WANT TO

 **CG:** UGH NYE

 **TG:** bro did you just like, have a pale totally platonic orgasm?

 **CG:** yes

 **TG:** dude you stopped typing in all caps

 **CG:** WHOOPS.

 **TG:** wow that made me really uncomfortable for some reason

 **CG:** LOOK IF YOU’RE JUST PULLING MY LEG ABOUT THIS PALE ROMANCE THING THEN YOU CAN PROMPTLY FUCK OFF TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE GALAXY. I DON’T NEED THIS SHIT IN MY LIFE.

 **TG:** no wait dude

 **TG:** karkat i

 **TG:** i actually think its kind of

 **TG:** kind of adorable

 **CG:** OH FUCK

 **CG:** NYEHHHhh

 **TG:** uh im gonna go if you need some time?

 **TG:** we can talk about this later if uh if you want to

 **TG:** and you can explain the pale romance thing to me more so uh

 **TG:** ya

 **TG:** catch ya on the flip side

_**\--turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 19:02—** _


	3. Part Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There were times when you felt like you couldn’t breathe, the weight of your feelings crushing your breathing-sacks until you choked and couldn’t speak. You know you’ve been avoiding everyone, especially Dave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like what I have so far! Sorry if it's a little short friends, there's more to come!

You’ve never really been good with words, which is kinda funny considering you’ve given advice to all of your friends and you still do. Coming to terms with the fact that you put up a bullshit front in order to protect yourself from getting hurt was harder than having had to explain to Nepeta that no, you don’t like her like that and yes, you two can stay friends but to calm down with all the shipping charts and quadrant pairings. But you’ve never been one for words.

Admitting to Dave Strider that you were bored as fuck was something that wasn’t that difficult, sure you were slightly uncomfortable talking to him but he’s always made you feel that way. Maybe it’s because his aviators hide his eyes- you were always good at reading other trolls’ eyes- or maybe it’s because you’ve realized that you two are more alike than either one of you had thought. Anyways, pitying the loser had never been a goal of yours. Sure you had had that thing with Gamzee in an alternate timeline but obviously that doesn’t count, not to mention looking back on it the relationship had been borderline abusive. Feeling pale for Dave… that’s been a whole different experience for you. It feels totally different from the other times when you had that thing for Kanaya and Eridan awhile back… Pale feelings have never been your strong suit, but fuck it you need to somehow get it off your chest because it was literally crushing you. There were times when you felt like you couldn’t breathe, the weight of your feelings crushing your breathing-sacks until you choked and couldn’t speak. You know you’ve been avoiding everyone, especially Dave. Not because you were depressed or anything, you just like being alone sometimes and you’ve never been when one to actively seek out another's company, you fear the rejection. It’s sometimes crippling because sometimes you is out on things but you don’t mind it all that much anymore, you’re used to it.

Anyways enough of this pity-party because fuck you’re acting like a little wiggler, wanting attention and affection. But see, this is the type of shit you could talk to Dave about, all you have to do is muster up the courage to tell him how you feel. Fuck, he’s human you don’t even know if he’s capable of having quadrants, you know they usually only have the one but…. Hey, you can fucking dream.                                                                                                                                  

\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 04:02—

CG: DAVE, I UM… WOW THIS IS HARDER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE BUT,

CG: I REALLY NEED TO TALK TO YOU.

\--turntechGodhead [TG] is an idle chum!—

CG: OF COURSE YOU ARE, RIGHT WHEN I WANT TO TALK TO YOU. LISTEN, YOU MIGHT NOT EVEN GET THESE MESSAGES (oh god I hope you don’t). BUT WHAT I HAVE TO SAY IS REALLY IMPORTANT, WELL AT LEAST FOR ME IT IS.

CG: ANYWAYS I UH, I NEED TO BE STRAIGHT UP AND SERIOUS WITH YOU. WE GOT OFF ON THE WRONG FOOT WHEN I TALKED TO YOU FOR THE FIRST TIME ON TROLLIAN. I THOUGHT YOU WERE SOME PRETENTIOUS DOUCHE WHO ONLY THOUGHT ABOUT HIMSELF AND

CG: WOW I’M RAMBLING, I’LL JUST GET ON WITH IT THEN. I COMPLETELY HATED YOU AT FIRST, BUT THEN WE STARTED TALKING AND THEN SHIT WENT DOWN WITH TEREZI AND VRISKA AND GAMZEE’S AN ASS…. UH, ANYWAYS OVER THE LAST FEW MONTHS… MY FEELINGS TOWARDS YOU HAVE CHANGED AND I GUESS I’M, LIKE, REALLY PALE FOR YOU?

CG: DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHICH QUADRANT THAT IS? DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT MEANS?

CG: I MEAN, I CAN HELP YOU UNDERSTAND IF YOU WANT TO… GIVE IT A TRY? FUCK I SOUND SO STUPID JUST IGNORE ME AND MY PROTEIN-CHUTE SO I CAN WALLOW IN MY OWN EXCREMENT PILE.

CG: SO UH, YEAH.

CG: BYE I GUESS.

\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] has ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 04:28— 

                                     

\--turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 14:06—

TG: uh

TG: wow i have *no fucking clue* what to say here

TG: youve left me speechless bro

TG: wait was that

TG: fuck im not good at shit like this

\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] is an idle chum!—

TG: shit of course fuck im pretty late in replying to you but

TG: listen

TG: all my life ive been alone in a house with bro, never went to public school

TG: okay thats a lie i went once when i was little but

TG: anyways

TG: fuck i was going somewhere with this

TG: wait

TG: uh nvm ill start somewhere else

TG: uh um

TG: compliments strider, bitches love compliments

TG: right okay, youre adorable when youre flustered

TG: i like getting on your nerves because you get all emotional and passionate and shit

TG: fuck was that okay to say? hell if i know, the pale quadrant is the bro one right?

TG: yeah i think so

TG: anyways i uh, im not exactly opposed to being in that quadrant with you

TG: im human

TG: well obviously so i might fuck it up but if you tell me whats required

TG: well what its mainly about, i can try?

TG: uh so yeah, get back to me on this uh

TG: soon if you can, please

TG: um yeah bye

\--turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 14:14—

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comments and kudos! I live off of them 0_0  
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter, I'm not really sure where it's going but in the end I know that Dave and Karkat will be red for each other so, enjoy!


End file.
